I must make several disclaimers and caveats about the big old dollop of Whipped Truth Cream I'm fixin' to top off your sundae with.

Disclaimer the first, the wikileaks website is a good thing, providing information to the public that is wrongly kept secret is a good thing. A free press is a necessary precondition for an open society. Wikileaks has already played an important part in helping to assure that and I sincerely hope that it will continue to do so.

Disclaimer the second, I don't know precisely what facts form the foundation of the accusations against Julian Assange in Sweden. Neither do you. Stop pretending like you do because you don't. That shit hasn't been released and all we know about it is rumor, innuendo, and third party speculation.

Period; full stop; end of discussion. Those two points are issues on which I will brook no arguments. If you think that saying anything about either the value of Wikileaks or the nature of the charges against Julian Assange in Sweden has ANYTHING AT ALL to do with what follows, you are wrong. You have misunderstood. Stop. Shut up. Read it again. Repeat until you've successfully suppressed your inner moron.

Now that that's out of the way, let me make the point that should have been dead clear to absolutely everyone years ago when this whole thing started: The Extradition of Julian Assange to Sweden has absolutely nothing to do with prosecuting Julian Assange for espionage in the United States.

I'ma say that again, just so we can obtain a zenlike taoist monkstate of mental crystal fucking clarity on the point I'm making here. Serious as serious here, I'm worried about the general public's fucking ability to process rational fucking thoughts this is so basic. I should not have to tell you this. But here it is, one more time, slowly: Nothing about the extradition of Julian Assange to Sweden has anything to do with whether or not wikileaks and/or/neither/nor Assange personally are ever going to be charged or prosecuted in the United States for the publication of the documents sent to Assange by Bradley Manning. Got that? Clear on what we're talking about here?

Good. Because I'm now going to present you with the evidence in support of this claim that I've made. This is the stuff that consists of real true facts that with the judicious application of deductive reasoning proves without a shadow of a fucking doubt that what I just said is golden fucking gospel. You with me still? Ok here goes:

The UK and the United States have an extradition treaty that's as old as the hills and which has more provisions in it that are favorable to the US than the extradition treaty between the United States and Sweden.

That's it. That's the entirety of the argument. And it's absolutely sound, true and correct. It is all you need to know to draw the further conclusion that anyone who claims the Jews Ruling Class have a secret plot against the oh-so-terribly-dangerous Julian Assange (involving extradition from the UK to Sweden as part of some grand scheme to eventually cornhole Assange to death in some secret Jewish CIA prison in Outer Jack Bauerstan) is full of shit. There are corollaries and sub-arguments and other facts that serve to strengthen the bald, undeniable truth of this primary argument, but who needs them? This simple fact is necessary and sufficient.

Do you see why? Do you understand? This is really goddamn simple. I'll give you a minute.

Hopefully most of you have worked this out by now.

For those of you who haven't, lemme break it down for y'all and make it plain: If the US wants to bring charges against Julian Assange, it doesn't need him in the US. It can convict him in Absentia.That's one. Two, if the Jews Ruling Class wants a show trial and immediate punishment and the optics of having him shipped back to 'Merica the Beautiful, there's no fucking reason in the world why those evil Jews sons of bitches who are out to get him would need him to be sent to Sweden first. None. No reason. Nada. Nil. Null. 0.

And, pay attention now for this is KEY, that's because there's nothing about him being in Sweden that makes him more extraditable to the US than he is from the UK; or, for that matter, from any other of the European or Commonwealth nations where Assange might have been found prior to this whole mess.

In fact, it would be better if the US got him from the UK, because as previously alluded to, an argument can be made that a military and/or/neither/nor political crime like Espionage is not covered by the US's treaty with Sweden—I'm no lawyer, but ask Quackenbush and I'm sure he'll back me up, because it seems to be clear from what is said about the treaty on The Google Box—but which is most definitely part of the extradition treaty with the United Kingdom.

Do you understand that? I'm going to say it again, now, just to make it crystal clear. If the Jews US wanted to disappear Julian Assange into a secret holding cell secretly constructed in Oliver North's anus for the specific purpose of torturing Assange to death with digestive fluids Sarlacc Pit style, there's no reason why they wouldn't just get him extradited from the UK rather than cooking up some weird half baked honey trap in The Socialist Nightmare Gulag of Red Scandinavia™, where, if you weren't aware, American Justice is not the most popular or highly thought of institution. And people can't be extradited from to the US if they face the death penalty. Like all of Europe. Except the UK.

Ok, so what does that mean then? What can we deduce from the fact that, objectively speaking, it has been proven to a very high level of certainty that there is no Jewish US plot to ass fuck Julian Assange for the Jews US by sending him to Sweden?

Well, first and foremost, we can immediately conclude that Julian Assange is either a paranoid nutcase or a craven drama queen.

"Well, now, how does that follow, Ernie?" I know you're asking because really if you had worked this shit out for yourself I wouldn't have to spend my time explaining it to you right now.

Seriously, this is really easy. We know this because Julian Assange has spent the last two years telling everyone the opposite of the thing we have just shown to an extremely high degree of certainty to be true. He's been saying for years now that that this whole accusation against him in Sweden is part of aJew CIA dirty tricks campaign designed to lead to his eventual racking and ritual nutsack caning n Darth Cheney's "Deadliest Prey" Gaming Reserve located deep in the rolling hills of Wyoming. Because in Wymoing, the neighbors may be able to hear you scream in pain over all the anal fissures being raped into you by the mammoth phallus of a full grown black angus bull shot full of benzos and angel dust, but they really don't give a shit what's being done to you since it ain't on their property. Because cowboys in Wyoming mind their own damn business as a way of life.

And there are only two reasons why a person, when accused of a relatively minor crime in the rubber padded rec room that is the Scandinavia Socialist Nightmare®, would choose to fight extradition and the either minor inconvenience of fighting the charges if truly innocent or bargain out a short term sentence in a gloriously well appointed Swedish Hotel de Prison if truly guilty, and instead attempt to turn the whole run-of-the-mill legal process into the plot of a b-grade James Bond ripoff espionage killer. And not even a rippoff of a good James Bond movie either, but one of the really shit ones with Timothy Dalton. Like The Living Daylights. Or that one with Denise Richards and Pierce Brosnan with the oil pipeline that looked like it was shot as a made-for-TV Movie. Blech.

But yes, but so there are only two reasons why Assange would do that. The first, and I think more likely, reason is that Julian Assange is a pathetic little man who is too chicken-shit to do a little time for his misogynistic crimes, and so being such a sad little man he's cooked up this whole thing as a smokescreen to simultaneously avoid being found guilty of sex crimes while narcissistically fluffing up his own ego and reputation among the fawning sycophants the world over who think he can do no wrong and the Jews Men In Black really are out to get him. Morons. Don't be That Guy.

I prefer that story because the other, sadder, option is that he really believes that he's important enough, and that the Elders of Zion sovereign people of the United States hate him enough to make him vanish without due process into some deep dank hell where he'll be slowly dismembered, cooked, and served to Rush Limbaugh on a big plate of baked beans, and forced to watch pieces of himself be devoured by King Porko in some freakish, horrific parody of the Great American Backyard cookout. The United States, who gave a full blown federal criminal trial to Zaccarias Moussaoui, and he was French and one of the 9-11 plotters. DO you understand what that means about how the US does its dirty business with people it doesn't like? You see where I'm going with this? That's right: Assange, if not simply a craven, self-serving egomaniac who supremely enjoys being at the center of a global clusterfuck of his own creation for no other reason than because he's just such a Colossal Tool™, then must be a sadly mentally ill, paranoid, delusional man who actually believes his own cracked speculations that he's so super-important in a global war on tyrrany that the whole world is breaking it's own laws and violating its own principles, acting contrary to their past behavior, because he's just so goddamn dangerous to the jews Global Elites of transnational capitalism. Meanwhile, how many people have lost money or wound up in jail over a wikileaks revelation? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the fucking roar of all these chirping fucking crickets in here.

No, shut up, don't argue. This is inexorable. There is no out for this logic bomb. You are trapped the minute you accept the premises and you cannot dispute those premises because they are so fucking obvious. SO one or the other theories of the manner in which Julian Assange is damaged, either narcissist weasel or paranoid delusional, has to be true. There are no other possibilities. So you can stop with the Free Assange bullshit now. He either needs to man up and stand trial or he needs to be put in a nice, soft, warm safe place where he can get the medications and treatment he needs to get back in touch with reality. There's no third possibility. Law of the excluded middle, motherfucker, QE fucking D.