I, like many of my fellow Arizonans, have become increasingly concerned about a serious problem in our state. More and more "people" are struggling with the twin problems of not knowing who they are or where they come from. The problem has grown to such epic proportions that many Arizonans now suspect that even non-Arizonans are suffering from the problem. Things have become so so bad that today when we walk down the street in Tucson, we are forced to wonder: if I asked this person passing me for their name and place of birth, would they be able to provide me with convincing proof that what they said was true?

The answer, all too often, is no.

Naturally, this lack of government issue identification that so many of us are suffering from is a source of serious anxiety for all of our fellow citizens. Certain half-measures have been proposed, of course, such as the current legislation demanding that people carry proof of citizenship and requiring presidential candidates to produce their birth certificates, but these, frankly, do not go far enough to quiet the anxieties of so many hard working Arizonans.

I propose a new approach to the issue that should completely eliminate the anxiety for all those who suffer from it. The solution? A simple motto that all Arizonans can adopt and display with pride: Will Have Identification To Examine, or WHITE for short.

The WHITE project is a simple plan to alleviate the anxiety of Arizonans concerned that other people around them don't have any Identification. Under my plan, all persons in the state with identification would be required to wear a button, t-shirt, or windbreaker at all times displaying the comforting phrase "Don't Worry, Arizona: WHITE person" to inform any and all passers by that they are WHITE and if asked will have identification to examine.

By helpfully identifying in bold, calming letters on easily read clothing which people are WHITE, Arizonans will also be able to tell who is not WHITE. Non-WHITEs in Arizona can then be targeted and given aid to themselves become WHITE. If Non-WHITES do not wish to become WHITE, specially trained social workers will educate them about the level of anxiety their non-WHITEness causes for WHITE Arizonans, and if, once aware of the anxiety they are causing, the non-WHITE person is still unwilling or unable to become WHITE, he or she will be escorted to a border crossing with whichever foreign country is closest.

I think this is a simple and elegant solution that we can all get behind and with proper implementation Arizona can be all WHITE within six months.