So the French, ever anxious to be first, have decided to call a general strike today. People are already comparing this strike that hasn't yet happened with the general strike of May 1968 that brought the country to its knees, very briefly heralded the coming of the global communist revolution, then got boring and ended with a whimper when everybody got sick of crap wine and decided to go back to work.
Well, maybe this time the froggies will get it right and really will spark off the rebirth and spread of Komintern, and this time next week we'll all be speaking mandarin chinese and thanking heaven for chairman mao. I'm not holding my breath, but stranger things have happened.
But in case the revolution is on its way, folks, and this is not just more growing pains of late capitalism, here are a few things you should remember as the bourgeoisie incites the proletariat rises up and throw off the shackles of our capitalist masters:
1.) The Revolution Will be Televised.
No matter what Brother Scott-Heron said, the 24 hour news cycle will not go down with out a fight. be sure to wear your best fatigues and berets. Also, I expect to start seeing some hammer and sickle merchandise showing up more often at hot topic, so stock up now. Enterprising anticapitalist crusaders might want to consider a small investment in silk screening equipment to crank out a few t-shirts with images of Commandante Guevarra or Thích Quảng Đức on them. Better download some hi res jpegs first before the internet shuts down. Barring of course the slim likelihood that a bunch of nerds at MIT might decide to just keep the global infrastructure working on homebuilt servers just for the heck of it. I wouldn't count on it tho. They'll probably all be up against the wall before we actually need them.
2.) get in yr stores of brewers yeast now
In the aftermath of the revolution while everybody else is hunkering down with their canned beans and duct tape, a few barrels of high alcohol content barleywine will probably be quite a hot commodity. I expect you might be able to trade them for some very useful items and I bet an entrepreneurial young man could make a killing from the collapse of western civilization.
3.) get yr crotch waxed now
chances are razors are gonna be hard to come by before the industrial base gets up to snuff on whatever state model replaces the capitalist system with an early marxist period, so if you want to be starring in any porn and or want to get some sloppy oral sex from the soon to be downtrodden and depraved uppercrust dandies who are bound to be passing it out to the proles left and right on pain of re-education. My guess is they will probably be more enthusiastic if they don't have to worry about gagging on yr unwashed pubes (and their won't be much hot water, so odds are that yr pubes WILL be unwashed.)
4.) Remember that the red flag is just a symbol and if necessary can be used as a striking table cloth if the capitalist masters reassert themselves and you find yourself back in indentured wage slavery.
5.) Value in a post capitalist world will be determined by labor, not the market, so it might be worth while to develop a few labor intensive hobbies right now in order to start crankng up the production of useless but complex goods in exchange for some food and whatnot.
6.) Infection is not your friend. Keep your wounds clean. By some alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, iodine, and such now. Also a few packets of that Celox stuff and big stores of guaze, drugs, and antibiotics might be valuable.
I suggest you make hitting a doctors office or pharmacy a first stop on your looting trips. Some specific items to grab:
antibiotics:
amoxycillin
penicillin
really anything ending in cillin, mycin, or xone
analgesics:
opiate drugs containing
hydrocodone (vicodin)
morphine
codeine (lots of stuff like tylenol, advil, "With Codeine")
pethidine (demerol)
hydromorphone (dilaudid)
oxycodone (percodan, percocet)
These are the heavy duty opioid painkillers and should be used sparingly. They'll make for quick cash on a street sale, but if everything does collapse you're probably better off hoarding even tho the shelf life on these things isn't forever.
Anti inflammatories/NSAIDs:
aspirin (percocet, paracetamol half a million other things)
ibuprofen (advil, nuprin, motrin)
acetominenphan (tylenol, vicondin, percodan)
naproxen sodium (aleve)
anaesthtics:
aether
novacaine, lidocaine, really anything ending in -caine
generally:
automatic diffibulator machines
blood pressure cuffs
stethoscopes
sterile bandaging, air casts in sizes to fit everybody you know, crutches in various sizes, vet wrap, and whereever you can get it ethanol. lots and lots of ethanol.
7.) Finally, repeat after me: "I will not use the general collapse of civilization as an excuse to run amok and settle old scores. Although I might get a plasma tv from best buy if there are any left by the time I get there after raiding the pharmacy/doctors office/dentists office."